Ditch Summit - Keeping it Real with Student Relationships

 Ditch Summit - Day 1 with Matt Miller & CJ Reynolds

Building relationships with Students and Whanau means students' engagement in class will skyrocket and managing the students will appear to be a breeze.

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John Maxwell says - No one cares what you know until they know you care.

I have made the mistake of believing 'I care, I tell them everyday!' but was I really showing it.

I know I have done this well in previous settings but with Covid and after had I really done it?

Tips on How:

1. Ask the children - (not from the front of the class), get in get personal, and sit with them

What is cool that old people don't care about?

2. Get to know them as people before you focus on the rules and routines!

Show the students 10 slides of the 10 most important moments in your life.

Make it personal, make yourself vulnerable!

Get the kids to make a set of slides of 10 important moments in their life.

3. Show Students you are listening and that you are interested. 

Go to events, be relevant

4. Turn Up - Go outside and play with students during breaks (don't hide in the class). 

Sit and eat with them.

5. Ask Parents - What do I need to know about your child that I won't find written anywhere?

This could be an email or a phone conversation when you introduce yourself.

E.g. What was their favourite part of class/school (When Why?)

Least favourite activity?

6. Then keep looking for clues.

Relationship leads to Classroom Management

This starts outside the class, as I mentioned earlier get alongside them play, and find out what they like. Once in class don't dive into rules and routines tell them about you. 

My name is and I love my job.

 I want to have the greatest day, week and year with a lot of fun in between.

Greet each student every morning, with a fist pump, or elbow knock.  This tells the students they are seen by you. You might be the first one to acknowledge them for the day. 

Build Rhythm in class (routines but they can fluctuate). Students need consistency to feel safe!

Navigate Conflict Moments

Issues are not the end of the world for them or for us. help them to find their way through. They don't have the life experience to understand that the sun will come up tomorrow. Smile it will pass, and have a safe place for students to go. 

Keep Calm and talk to them. This is what I am seeing, Did I do something to cause this behaviour? Own it as a Teacher if you make a mistake.

If NO, How can we remedy this? Because I'm here for you to succeed. How you think, feel and your education is important.

= Encouraging students to advocate for themselves positively. 

Game Plan - if you have a situation who can you reach out to?

- Who do the students connect with, meet with them to discuss, and prepare for situations. Then go back and discuss more so you can understand what or where you went wrong.

Building Relationship

More and more teachers are discussing the importance of developing relationships with students and involving whanau (extended family) to ensure everyone is on the same page. This approach is well established in some countries where teachers have the same class for multiple years.

Ten years ago, I had the opportunity, more out of necessity than design, to teach a range of year levels. I started by teaching Year 1 and 2 students in a school. The year following, they needed a teacher for a Year 2/3 class, so I moved up a level and continued teaching the same students. The year after that, I taught a Year 4 class, and eventually, I became the Senior Teacher for Years 5 and 6. As a result, I had the privilege of teaching half of the students for multiple years.

Each year, I would begin by calling the parents to discuss how their children were settling into school after the break and to address any concerns they might have had. As I had taught some of these students for 3 or 4 years, parents were more comfortable engaging with me and discussing their concerns. However, it took time to establish these connections.

More recently, I moved to a different area and level of teaching. To build relationships with the parents and students I was now responsible for, I started by calling them to introduce myself before engaging in more challenging conversations. Unfortunately, this was the same year that we faced the challenges of COVID-19, and students rarely attended school on a regular schedule. This made it more difficult to establish connections with students and their whanau.

As a school, we read 'When the Adults Change, Everything Changes' check out my posts to see what changes I make as a teacher and mentor.

 

Incredible Years IY - Building Relationships with Students and Proactive Teaching

Session One

Building Relationships

There are many ways to build relationships with students. Each of them takes time and consistent effort.

• Making home visits before issues arise
• Positive phone calls, or send notes home about student progress or how they are settling in
• Invite parents to fun school events, games days, performances shared lunches
• Show the student you care, listen to the student (make sure you are looking at them, do be busy listeners)
• Share about yourself

• Give students choices (this helps them to save face, e.g. "Put that 'what you are fiddling with' in your tray or in your bag.") - This removes the item so they can focus on the learning
• Dialogue Journal 
• Talking about their life outside of school
• Eating with students
• Promoting positive self-talk
• Teaching how to say I statements
• Inviting students to be responsible for the class and daily tasks
• Inviting students to help decide which way the focus of learning is going to go
• Know and use their names
• Encourage them to be helpful to each other and collaborate with others

Teachers can make a big difference to a child's future when they spend the extra effort and time nurturing positive relationships with all students. This is not always easy and requires time and commitment from the teacher. The caring teacher demonstrates an important model for the students. Emotional security in young children's relationships with their teachers is the necessary foundation for them to be able to feel confident to try out their imaginations, test new ideas, make mistakes, solve problems communicate their hopes and well their frustrations and gradually grow and gain academic skills.

Proactive Teaching

Proactive teaching is something I strive to achieve. It is easier to solve problems before they become overwhelming for both the student and the teacher.

• Develop clear class rules. E.g. does rather than don'ts
• Post rules so all can see and make sure all understand through role-play and discussion
• Have a predictable schedule and routines for dealing with transitions
• Get students attention before giving instructions
• Following through with praise
• Place inattentive or easily distractible children close to the teacher
• Redirect disengaged children be creative with this strategy
• Use positive warning reminders about behaviour expected rather than negative statements
• Give Frequent teacher attention through coaching, praise and encouragement

Having a clear classroom structure and rules, a predictable schedule and giving specific commands doesn't take extra time. Sometimes a little extra thought is necessary, but with practise, it becomes second nature. The emphasis is on being a proactive teacher, not reactive, thinking about the set-up of the classroom, using visual aids that help everyone from the ones with learning difficulties to those who are always rearing to go. 

Partnering with Parents

Involving parents in their child's education requires a commitment to families. A way to start forming a proactive plan to involve parents needs to be carefully crafted before school starting and teacher time set aside for communicating and collaborating with parents. It is a demanding process, that can be time-consuming but, it is worth the effort. The value of this approach for children's social, emotional, and academic growth cannot be underestimated. In the long run, this commitment to work with parents may actually save time, for it can lead to more positive relationships with students, less stressful classrooms and more support for both teachers and the family.

Ways to build these relationships with family overlap with building relationships with the students.

• Send home regular positive notes and make positive phone calls
• Don't store up grievances
• Be brief and concise when describing behaviour and focus on the positive behaviours that will be taught
• Ask for parent feedback and suggestions
• During discussions 
• Don't interrupt, argue, give advice 
• Do listen attentively and validate parents' concerns
• Recognise the parents' point of view
• Take one step at a time in goal setting
• Stay calm and patient
• Stop and call time out if anger mounts
• Make positive recommendations for solutions in collaboration with parents
• Plan a follow up with parents
• Encourage ongoing conversations

 

Saturday morning, I watched a group of boys from my class and ones who have moved up. I took photos that I printed and sent home to families.

I believe we are doing many of these things in our school. Next year will be a challenge as we will have to ensure with 50 students and 2 teachers we coordinate our efforts to prevent overlapping or students and families being missed. This is where our log of communication comes in handy.

What could I do better?

• Home visits and talking face to face with families
• Talk to parents before issues become overwhelming
• Praise students when they have followed an instruction. I have previously thought saying "Thank you" showed them I appreciated what they were doing, but why shouldn't I go the extra mile and praise them for acting without hesitation or doing the job efficiently? We all like praise for a job well done.