Incredible Years IY - Building Relationships with Students and Proactive Teaching

Session One

Building Relationships

There are many ways to build relationships with students. Each of them takes time and consistent effort.

• Making home visits before issues arise
• Positive phone calls, or send notes home about student progress or how they are settling in
• Invite parents to fun school events, games days, performances shared lunches
• Show the student you care, listen to the student (make sure you are looking at them, do be busy listeners)
• Share about yourself

• Give students choices (this helps them to save face, e.g. "Put that 'what you are fiddling with' in your tray or in your bag.") - This removes the item so they can focus on the learning
• Dialogue Journal 
• Talking about their life outside of school
• Eating with students
• Promoting positive self-talk
• Teaching how to say I statements
• Inviting students to be responsible for the class and daily tasks
• Inviting students to help decide which way the focus of learning is going to go
• Know and use their names
• Encourage them to be helpful to each other and collaborate with others

Teachers can make a big difference to a child's future when they spend the extra effort and time nurturing positive relationships with all students. This is not always easy and requires time and commitment from the teacher. The caring teacher demonstrates an important model for the students. Emotional security in young children's relationships with their teachers is the necessary foundation for them to be able to feel confident to try out their imaginations, test new ideas, make mistakes, solve problems communicate their hopes and well their frustrations and gradually grow and gain academic skills.

Proactive Teaching

Proactive teaching is something I strive to achieve. It is easier to solve problems before they become overwhelming for both the student and the teacher.

• Develop clear class rules. E.g. does rather than don'ts
• Post rules so all can see and make sure all understand through role-play and discussion
• Have a predictable schedule and routines for dealing with transitions
• Get students attention before giving instructions
• Following through with praise
• Place inattentive or easily distractible children close to the teacher
• Redirect disengaged children be creative with this strategy
• Use positive warning reminders about behaviour expected rather than negative statements
• Give Frequent teacher attention through coaching, praise and encouragement

Having a clear classroom structure and rules, a predictable schedule and giving specific commands doesn't take extra time. Sometimes a little extra thought is necessary, but with practise, it becomes second nature. The emphasis is on being a proactive teacher, not reactive, thinking about the set-up of the classroom, using visual aids that help everyone from the ones with learning difficulties to those who are always rearing to go. 

Partnering with Parents

Involving parents in their child's education requires a commitment to families. A way to start forming a proactive plan to involve parents needs to be carefully crafted before school starting and teacher time set aside for communicating and collaborating with parents. It is a demanding process, that can be time-consuming but, it is worth the effort. The value of this approach for children's social, emotional, and academic growth cannot be underestimated. In the long run, this commitment to work with parents may actually save time, for it can lead to more positive relationships with students, less stressful classrooms and more support for both teachers and the family.

Ways to build these relationships with family overlap with building relationships with the students.

• Send home regular positive notes and make positive phone calls
• Don't store up grievances
• Be brief and concise when describing behaviour and focus on the positive behaviours that will be taught
• Ask for parent feedback and suggestions
• During discussions 
• Don't interrupt, argue, give advice 
• Do listen attentively and validate parents' concerns
• Recognise the parents' point of view
• Take one step at a time in goal setting
• Stay calm and patient
• Stop and call time out if anger mounts
• Make positive recommendations for solutions in collaboration with parents
• Plan a follow up with parents
• Encourage ongoing conversations

 

Saturday morning, I watched a group of boys from my class and ones who have moved up. I took photos that I printed and sent home to families.

I believe we are doing many of these things in our school. Next year will be a challenge as we will have to ensure with 50 students and 2 teachers we coordinate our efforts to prevent overlapping or students and families being missed. This is where our log of communication comes in handy.

What could I do better?

• Home visits and talking face to face with families
• Talk to parents before issues become overwhelming
• Praise students when they have followed an instruction. I have previously thought saying "Thank you" showed them I appreciated what they were doing, but why shouldn't I go the extra mile and praise them for acting without hesitation or doing the job efficiently? We all like praise for a job well done.