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Tuesday 24 November 2020

Final Writing Results for 2020

 It is interesting looking at the results in writing after using the tools I have created and added to 




Thursday we went to the zoo and saw lots of animals. I saw a baby baboon. We saw a lion moving to eat and the other lions were sleeping under the tree. Mr John took a picture of us. - This is an improvement from one of our ESOL boys, who would write one sentence when he arrived.

Arriving at Auckland Zoo everyone waited for the other bus to arrive at the zoo. When the bus finally arrived we all sat down and listened to the rules, from the zookeeper. We all got into our groups and grabbed our lunch. Then our group sat down and ate our rolls. After finishing our rolls we ran to see the animals. First animals we saw were the emu, zebras and giraffes. They were so tall. Next, we ran off to see the scary lions sleeping. The last animal we saw was the big fat elephants. - Previous a reluctant writer.

Year 4 students in our class had also received the same teaching. I was curious about how their results looked from the beginning of the year. 


Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! 

"We are going to do this all day. If you can't stop your chitter-chatter!" Mrs Kereopa shouted, "Heads, shoulders, knees, toes!" She kept shouting.

Finally, we stopped talking and shut our mouths. It was only Kereru we were waiting to come, so were can start our day off at the zoo. Just then Ms Castle came in and shouted loudly, "Is everybody ready for the zoo?"

"Yes!" everybody shouted yelled.

Then we all got up and into our groups. I was in group one, and group one was the last one to explore the ginormous zoo. At last, our group was off and we were very excited looking forward to seeing all the animals in the zoo. - Due to unforeseen circumstances this student only wrote for 20 minutes but what an interesting beginning.

"Put your hat and shoes on," Mrs Mundy said.

We put our hat and shoes on, all except Dakora. Miss did the roll call, and gave someone from each group the name tags, to give to us, so people know who we are. We went outside and got some instructions. I was in group 2, we walked down the driveway to our bus and got on. 

"Shanell, come sit by me." Te Hanni said.

"Ok," I said back. 

We talked and talked until, Ms Kereopa said, "We need some kids to go with Ms Castle."

"Ok," Matua Samuel said, "You can go you can your whole group can go!" - This student would previously write one or two sentences and never attempted to use speech.


The results in student data have validated my efforts. I look forward to continuing to add to my site with alternate lessons and ideas for structuring the various forms of writing. 

I believe that not all students are ready for this input into writing at the same time. However, they still need the teaching and may need it more than once, like in other curriculum areas.

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